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Meanwhile, In Kazakhstan… Soccer Team Threatened w/ Legal Action Over Ritual Slaughter

A Kazakhstan Soccer team, Shakhter Karagandy, has been ritually slaughtering sheep before soccer games to invoke the blessing of some mysterious sheep-slaughter god.


The authorities have warned the Shakhter that if they continue, they will consider disciplinary action. Shakhter slaughtered a sheep at the Astana Arena, the day before playing the Celtic team in the Champion’s League playoffs. Shakhtar won, which prompts the question – What self-respecting blood god is a fan of soccer? And why sheep, damnit?! Why not foreskins, or perhaps spiders? Why not ritually slaughter something that is generally useless, or at least a nuisance?


And now, for your amusement,



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