This may already be old news by now – but just in case you haven’t heard, those crazy bastards overseas have cooked up a new way to fuck over the infidels still kickin’ it in the rest of creation. You know who I’m talking about, don’t get cute.
According to US Gov’t officials, certain organizations and terror groups overseas ‘may’ have developed a new liquid substance, that when dried becomes explosive. Of course it’s ‘may’, Big Brother doesn’t dare come up front with the news that some crackpots have put a quiver in their boots. The cause for concern is undeniable – aside from all the other crazy shit they’ve cooked up, now we have genuine reason to be afraid of nutjobs in rocket panties.
While no reports have yet to go into the science of it all, the concept is simple. Dip an article of clothing into the new substance and upon drying you have your very own as-of-yet undetectable bomb that looks no more out of the ordinary than white on bleached rice.
This new threat, coupled with significant increases in chatter around the middle east and African countries has caused the US to close many embassies overseas while they determine how best to deal with the newest shenanigans concocted by these super villain reject mad scientists.
The world’s a crazy place folks, next time you see someone trying to set their underpants or socks on fire, you best duck for cover.
“Talk about sitting in the hot seat.”
“Now that’s a spicy meat-ball!”
I suppose I could go on, but I’m sure you folks can do better.
*P.S., why is it so hard to find a decent pic of rocket pants?!